I had a feeling at the beginning of the year, this would be a different and difficult year for me. Recently, I decided not to attend a writing conference for the first time in five years. I admit at first I was disappointed.
Then I took time to be still and reflect on my life and say thank you, God. I remembered all the times God has brought me through difficult seasons and disappointment. And on the other side of the disappointment I was much better off than I had anticipated.
The hard times helped me understand that God’s ways are higher and better than ours. As an adult, I know we don’t always understand what God is doing. People who claim to know everything about God’s will are scripturally ignorant or just prideful.
Who wants a little God they can understand? The great prophets of the Jewish Faith prophesied the Great I am is beyond the understanding of mortal man (Numbers 23:19, Job 11:7-12, Psalm 103:11, Isaiah 55:1-13.)
This year I have leaned into one of my favorite passages from the Old Testament, Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds God’s people not to depend on their own understanding, but to trust God and to submit to His will in everything.
When I was young I followed my heart’s and flesh’s desire. When I was confused, I looked to the world for answers on how to have what you want. Looking back, I see how that mindset led to disappointments in each area of my life: social life, vocation, and of course relationships.
None of these things are bad, but I had a bad perspective of them, I just wanted to live in the moment and be happy. When I was younger I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of my actions until later in life.
My accident changed everything and God used it to put me back on the right path and He would get the glory. I learned the divine blessing of hardships. Biblically, God has used hardship to refine and redirect His people, even after they are no longer slaves.
God’s deliverance of Israel from Egypt should only have taken two weeks for His people to get to Canon, but their stubbornness and disobedience delayed God’s blessing and only a handful of Israelites completed the trip to the promise Land.
God had to allow me to go on a detour I did not want to experience to get my life back where He wanted me and to receive His promises. He used my foolish ways to bring me back to the faith and draw me closer to Himself. God’s timing and ways are more about the journey and growth process than the destination and the blessing.
I will never forget the first time I heard God’s great small voice when I was tempted to return to my old foolish ways He had gracefully delivered me from. To this day I lean into and try to focus on what the Holy Spirit is telling me about every situation.
Jesus reminded His followers that His sheep know His voice and will never follow that of another shepherd (John 10:27-28.) Jesus knew that satan would try to deceive God’s people and play them like a puppet if they give in.
The Jewish people understand the importance of sheep following the Shepherd because he knows what is best for the flock. Sheep tend to do foolish things and get themselves into trouble. Sometimes in life, we think we know what is best for us like sheep, and lean on our instincts and desires.
Just like our Jewish stepfathers, we forget having faith in God means letting go and trusting and obeying Him; even if it doesn’t make sense or make us happy at the time. God knows what is best and can keep us from getting lost, He is the waymaker.
In one of those small overlooked stories of Jesus leading His Disciples, we find the seasoned fishermen fishing where they wanted, but they came up with empty nets and Jesus redirected them (Luke 5:4-11.)
God is the Good Shepherd and He knows where the true blessings are in this life and the next. We can’t see things from God’s perspective because we are still lost in this world. God sees the bigger picture.
Doing what we want naturally gets us into trouble, even if you’re a Jesus freak. I have a lifetime of failures to look back on. But my faith tells me God never fails and I can learn from my mistakes.
Unsaved people are lost because they follow their flesh and temporary ways of this world. The older I get the more I lean into what God is showing me and the less I depend on myself or whatever this world offers.
I am learning to plan less and pray more. God doesn’t make mistakes, but my God can use ours for our good, even if we don’t understand. Have you seen God leading you? This year more than ever, regardless of what it is, I am letting God guide me (Isaiah 42:16.)
